Jokes and Giggles
Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt
Husband's call to his wife:
"Honey it's me. I don't want to alarm you but I was hit by a car as I was leaving the office. Paula brought me to the hospital. They have checked me over and done some tests and some x-rays. The blow to my head was severe. Fortunately it did not cause any serious internal injury. However I have three broken ribs, a compound fracture in the left leg, and they think they may have to amputate my right foot."
"Who the fuck is Paula?"
And if you find that hard to believe, you've never been married.
CRA Tax Return
This story is said to be true: The Canadian Revenue Agency actually commented on this one. Something to ponder ... but, still worth a broad Smile!
Amazing, but true, if you think about it, and it shows the importance of accuracy in your tax return.
The CRA has returned the Tax Return to a man in Canada after he apparently answered one of the questions incorrectly.
In response to the question,... "Do you have anyone dependent on you?"
The man wrote:... "2.1 million illégal immigrants, 1.1 million crackheads, 4.4 million unemployable scroungers,
80,000 criminals in over 85 prisons plus 650 idiots in Parliament and the entire group that call themselves Politicians".
The CRA stated that the response he gave was unacceptable.
The man's response back to the CRA was,... "Who did I leave out?"
An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."
The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"
"Oh, I don't know," said the atheist. "How about why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?" as he smiled smugly.