Jokes and Giggles
Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt
Chapter 980
The following are compliments of Pete Compton
A ninety year old man lived in a rest home and got a weekend pass. He stopped in his favorite bar and sat at the end and ordered a drink. He noticed a seventy year old woman at the other end of the bar and he told the bartender to buy the lovely young lady a drink. As evening progressed, the old man joined the lady and they went to her apartment, where they got it on. (“The Horizontal Disco”)
Four days later, the old man noticed that he was developing a drip, and he headed for the rest home doctor. After careful examination the doctor asked the old man if he had engaged in sex recently.
The old man said, “Sure!”
The doctor asked if he could remember who the woman was and where she lived.
“Sure, why?”
“Well you’d better get over there, you’re about to come!”
This really sounds like Jim7 one of my editors.
A young and inexperienced advocate is leading evidence from his female client, the plaintiff. “When last did you cohabit?” he asks.
“I’m not sure what you mean.”
“When did you last have sex?”
“Oh ... this morning.”
“You had sex this morning with your husband?” asks the astonished advocate.
“No, sir - with my attorney.”
POSSIBLE TITLES FOR LEWINSKY’S NEW BOOK
I Suck At My Job
What Really Goes Down In The White House
How I Blew It In Washington
You Have to Work Hard to Find the Softer Side of the President
Podium Girl
Secret Services to the President
Deep Inside The Oval Office
The Congressional Study on White House Intern Positions
Going Down and Moving Up
Me and My Big Mouth
A wedding occurred, just outside Cavan in Ireland. To keep tradition going, everyone got pissed and the bride’s and groom’s families had a storming rage and begin wrecking the reception room and generally kicking the crap out of each other.
The police get called in to break up the fight.
The following week, all members of both families appear in court. The fight continues in the court room until the Judge finally brings calm with the use of his hammer, shouting “Silence in Court.”
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