Jokes and Giggles
Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt
Chapter 977
HOT COFFEE and PRIME MINISTERS
I was eating breakfast with my teenaged Granddaughter and I asked her,
“What special day was it in Canada yesterday?”.
Without skipping a beat she said, “It was Prime Minister’s Day!”
She’s smart, so I asked her, “What does Prime Minister’s Day mean?”
I was waiting for something about Trudeau.
She replied, “Prime Minister Day is when the Prime Minister steps out of the Prime Minister’s Residence, and if he sees his shadow, we have 4 more years of Bull Shit.”
You know, it hurts when hot coffee spurts out your nose.
A mortician was laying out the body of a man with an unbelievably long penis. He called in his receptionist to show her.
She took one look and said,
“Big deal. That’s just like my husband’s penis.”
“You mean he’s got one that long?” asked the surprised mortician.
“No,” she replied. “That dead.”
I know you have been laying awake at night wondering why baby diapers have brand names such as “Luvs”, “Huggies,” and “Pampers’, while undergarments for old people are called “Depends”.
Well here is the low down on the whole thing...
When babies crap in their pants, people are still gonna Luv’em, Hug’em and Pamper’ em. When old people crap in their pants, it “Depends” on who’s in the will!
Glad I got that straightened out so you can rest your mind.
The old man placed an order for one hamburger, French fries, and a drink.
He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife.
He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.
He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them. As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering.
Obviously they were thinking, ‘That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.’
As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said, they were just fine - they were used to sharing everything.
To read the complete story you need to be logged in:
Log In or
Register for a Free account
(Why register?)
* Allows you 3 stories to read in 24 hours.