Chapter 967

On her first day at the senior complex, the new manager addressed all the seniors pointing out some of her rules:

“The female sleeping quarters will be out-of-bounds for all males, and the male dormitory to the females. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time.”

She continued, “Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you a fine of $180. Are there any questions?”

At this point, an older gentleman stood up in the crowd and inquired:

“How much for a season pass?”

This one is compliments of John A.

One student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories!

His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report.

Titanic: Cost - $29.99
Clinton : Cost - $29.99

Titanic: Over 3 hours to read
Clinton : Over 3 hours to read

Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton : The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.

Titanic: Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton : Bill is a bullshit artist.

Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton : Ditto for Bill

Titanic: During the ordeal, Rose’s dress gets ruined.
Clinton : Ditto for Monica.

Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton : Let’s not go there.

Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
Clinton : Monica is forced to return her gifts.

Titanic: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton : Clinton doesn’t remember anything.

Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton : Monica ... Ooh, let’s not go there, either.

Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton : Bill goes home to Hillary - basically the same thing