Jokes and Giggles
Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt
Chapter 966
Money Alert
Please, I repeat, please, DO NOT use the $1, $20, $50 or the $100 bills as they have pictures of former slave owners on them! Send them all to me and I will dispose of in the proper manner!!! Do not just throw them away as they need to be disposed of properly and I am certified to do so. E-mail me for a discreet method of transfer.
Thank you for your patriotism.
Compliments of Allan B
How Government Works
Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert.
The government said, “Someone may steal from it at night.” So they created a night watchman position and hired a person for the job.
Then the government said, “How does the watchman do his job without instruction?” So they created a planning department and hired two people, one person to write the instructions, and one person to do time studies.
Then the government said, “How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?” So they created a Quality Control department and hired two people. One to do the studies and one to write the reports.
Then the government said, “How are these people going to get paid?” So they created the following positions, a time keeper, and a payroll officer, then hired two people.
Then the government said, “Who will be accountable for all of these people?” So they created an administrative section and hired three people, an Administrative Officer, Assistant Administrative Officer, and a Legal Secretary.
Then the government said, “We have had this command in operation for one year and we are $18,000 over budget, we must cutback overall cost.” So they laid off the night watchman.
Very Lost
An American and his wife were driving in Canada and got lost. Finally they came into some city. They saw a gentleman on the sidewalk, so the gentleman pulled up to the curb, and the lady let down her window and asked, “Excuse me, sir. Where are we?”
The gentleman on the street replied, “Saskatoon, Saskatchewan.”
The lady rolled up the window, turned to her husband and said, “We really are lost. They don’t even speak English here!”
A knight and his men return to their castle after a long hard day of fighting.
“How are we faring?” asks the king.
“Sire,” replies the knight, “I have been robbing and pillaging on your behalf all day, burning the towns of your enemies in the west.”
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