Jokes and Giggles - Cover

Jokes and Giggles

Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt

Chapter 963

Noah’s Problems

In the year 2016, the Lord came unto Noah, Who was now living in America and said: “Once again, the earth has become wicked and over -populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me.” “Build another ark and save 2 of every living thing Along with a few good humans.” He gave Noah the blueprints, saying: “You have 6 months to build the ark before I will Start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights.”

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah Weeping in his yard - but no ark. “Noah!,” He roared, “I’m about to start the rain! Where is the ark?” “Forgive me, Lord,” begged Noah, “but things have changed.”

“I needed a building permit.”

“I’ve been arguing with the boat inspector About the need for a sprinkler system.”

“My neighbors claim that I’ve violated the Neighborhood by-laws by building the ark in my Back yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to Go to the local Planning Committee for a decision.”

“Then the local Council and the electric company demanded A shed load of money for the future costs of moving power Lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the Passage for the ark’s move to the sea. I told them That the sea would be coming to us, but they would Hear none of it.”

“Getting the wood was another problem. There’s a ban On cutting local trees in order to save the Greater Spotted Barn Owl.” “I tried to convince the environmentalists that I Needed the wood to save the owls - but no go!”

 
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