Chapter 960

This one is compliments of gsears4now

There are two ways of saying the same thing with very different implications: “Bless me Father, for I have sinned.”

versus: “Daddy, I’ve been a bad, bad girl.”

Name for a gay bar: “One man’s junk is another man’s treasure”

What did the porn magazine collector say to his stash every night? “Good night, sweet prints...”

This bunch is compliments of Allan

A man goes to the clinic and makes an appointment with an ophthalmologist and an urologist. The nurse asked, “Why do you need them both?” He replied, “Either I’ve gone color-blind, or my piss has turned blue”.

This guy went to the doctor and said to him “Doctor ... I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but every time I fart, it sounds like the word HONDA”. “That’s interesting, never heard of anything like that before. Do you think you could fart for me?” says the doctor. The guy says “Sure.” And sure enough, the doctor hears “HONDA”. After several attempts to figure out what’s wrong with this guy, the doctor runs out of ideas. He sends him to all sorts of stomach specialists and none of them can figure out why this guys farts say “HONDA.” It is a completely out of this world medical condition. Finally, as a last resort, the doctors think they should send the man to a dentist. After explaining the problem to the dentist, the dentist opened up the guys mouth and examining it. The dentist says “A-haa!!!! ... I have solved the problem.” The patient says “What is it? What is it. Please tell me doc” ... The dentist replies “Well, sir, you have an abscessed tooth.” The guy says “Yeah ... so ... What has that got to do with my farts?” The dentist replies, “Can’t you see?? ... Abscess Makes The Fart Go HONDA”

Even I agree this one was a groaner... 

A couple went to a costume party ... she went with her genitals exposed wearing only knee-high shoes. He did, too with a pot on his head. And there you had them ... Puss and Boots, together with Peter Pan.

Back in the 17th century there was a famous ship called “One Ass Cheek”. Its captain was Henry Hudson. Oh, wait a minute ... his ship was the “Half Moon”. Same thing.

A princess had a spell put on her so that everything she touched would melt. The king was frantic with worry, so he called all his sorcerers and wizards together to solve the problem. They sat, and discussed and debated, and finally concluded that if the princess were to touch something that wouldn’t melt, the spell would be broken.