Chapter 957

Say thank you to Dorsetmike for this one:

A Story of True Love!!

Dear Wife Im writing u this letter 2 tell u that Im leaving u 4ever. I’ve been a good man 2u for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell ... Your boss called 2tell me that u quit your job 2day & that was the last straw. Last week, u came home & didnt even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked ur favourite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2minutes, & went straight 2sleep after watching all of your soaps. U don’t tell me u love me anymore u don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either u are cheating on me or u dont love me anymore whatever the case, Im gone. Your EX-Husband P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away together! Have a great life!

Dear Ex-Husband Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. I watch my soaps because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when u got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came 2 mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if u can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when u cooked my favourite meal, u must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers I turned away from u because the £49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed £50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved u & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for £10 million I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home u were gone ... Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope u have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter u wrote ensures u won’t get a dime from me. So take care.