Chapter 953

The Following are compliments of Pete C.

My Dick is so big, right now it’s in the other room making us drinks.

My Dick is so big, it has it’s own dick, and even my dick’s dick is bigger than yours.

My Dick is the walrus, koo koo kajoob.

My Dick is so big, I’M it’s bitch.

My Dick is so big, U.S. West nailed some fiber optic lines at the top, and I didn’t feel it until the next Thursday.

My Dick is so big, when I get a boner, ... it affects the tides.

My Dick is so big, the head has only seen the balls in pictures.

My Dick is so big, NASA has launched space probes to find the end.

My Dick is so big, I could wear it as a tie, but I’m too afraid of getting a hard on and choking myself.

My Dick is so big, it won’t return Speilbergs phonecalls.

My Dick is so big, movie theatre popcorn now comes in “small”, “medium”, “large”, and “my dick”

My Dick is so big, there’s a shoe called “AIR my dick”

My Dick is so big, I finally figured out a good use for a woman with a big mouth.

My dick is so big, you’re standing on it.

My dick is so big, I need a blood transfusion to get fully erect.

My dick is so big, I was standing in Nebraska, and got a blow job in Alabama.

My dick is so big, it takes four fat women and a team of clydesdales to jack me off.

My back aches, my pussy is sore;
I simply can’t screw any more;
I’m covered with sweat,
And you haven’t come yet,
And my God, it’s a quarter to four!

Bob joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day he takes off his clothes and starts wandering around.

A gorgeous petite blonde walks by him and the man immediately gets an erection. The woman notices his erection, comes over to him grinning sweetly and says: “Sir, did you call for me?”

Bob replies “No, what do you mean?”

She says: “You must be new here; let me explain. It’s a rule here that if I give you an erection, it implies you called for me. -Smiling-, she then leads him to the side of a pool, lays down on a towel by the side of a pool, eagerly pulls him to her and happily lets him have his way with her.

Bob continues exploring the facilities. He enters a sauna, sits down, and farts. Within a few moments a huge, horribly corpulent, hairy man with a firm erection lumbers out of the steam towards him.

The Huge Man says: “Sir, did you call for me?”

Bob replies “No, what do you mean”?

The Huge Man: “You must be new here, it is a rule that when you fart, it implies you called for me.”

The huge man then easily spins Bob around, bends him over the bench and sodomizes him. Bob rushes back to the colony office.

The smiling naked receptionist greets him: “May I help you?”

Bob says: “Here is your card and key back. You can keep the $500 joining fee.”

Receptionist: “But Sir, you’ve only been here a couple of hours; you only saw a small fraction of our facilities...”

Bob replies: “Listen lady, I am 58 years old, I get a hard-on once a month, but I fart 15 times a day.

Two doctors were out jogging one day, each arguing as to who was the better doctor.

This went on for 30 minutes or so!

Finally the 1st doctor said to the 2nd, “If you’re so good - then prove it”.