Chapter 941

This one is compliments of Unclepodger

40 years Of marriage

A married couple in their early 60s are celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic Little restaurant. Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table.

She said, “For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.”

The wife answered, “Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.”

The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! – two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her Hands.

The husband thought for a moment: “Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I’m sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.”

The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish. So the fairy waved her magic wand and Poof!...

The husband became 92 years old.

The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember fairies are female...

These are compliments of J & B.

Work was a woman’s job, but one evening, Kathy arrived home from work to find the children bathed, one load of laundry in the washer and another in the dryer, Dinner was on the stove, and the table set. She was astonished!

It turns out that Victor had read an article that said, ‘Wives who work full-time and had to do their own housework were too tired to have sex’.

The night went very well.

The next day, Kathy told her Red Hat friends all about it. “We had a great dinner. Victor even cleaned up the kitchen. He helped the kids do their homework, folded all the laundry and put it away. I really enjoyed the evening.”

“But what about afterward?” asked her friends.

“Oh, that ... Victor was too tired.”

Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.

Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, “Kin ya swallar?”

The woman shakes her head no.

Then he asks, “Kin ya breathe?”

The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.

The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue. The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table.

His partner says, “Ya know, I’d heerd of that there ‘Hind Lick Maneuver’ but I ain’t niver seed nobody do it!”

If you don’t send this to five friends, there will be five fewer people laughing in the world!