Jokes and Giggles
Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt
Chapter 940
These are compliments of Rick M.
Anyone who has ever had a loved one in the hospital will enjoy this:
A woman called a local hospital. “Hello. Could you connect me to the person who gives information about patients. I’d like to find out if a patient is getting better, doing as expected, or getting worse.”
The voice on the other end said, “What is the patient’s name and room number?”
“Sarah Finkel, Room 302.”
“I’ll connect you with the nursing station”
“3-A Nursing Station. How can I help You?”
“I’d like to know the condition of Sarah Finkel in Room 302.”
“Just a moment. Let me look at her records. Yes. Mrs. Finkel is doing very well. In fact, she’s had two full meals. Her blood pressure is fine. She is to be taken off the heart monitor in a couple of hours and, if she continues this improvement, Dr. Cohen is going to send her home Tuesday at noon.”
The woman said, “What a relief! Oh, that’s fantastic ... that’s wonderful news!”
The nurse said, “From your enthusiasm, I take it you are a close family member or a very close friend!”
“Neither! I’m Sarah Finkel in Room 302! Nobody here tells me shit.”
10 funny random thoughts to about 2016
Number 10 - Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich!
Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks.
Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky ... not really good for anything, but you still can’t help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs. (try not to think of people you work with)
Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
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