Chapter 935

Technology!!

Isn’t this the truth ... were getting old at the right time...

Dearest Dad,

I am coming home to get married soon, so get your check book out. I’m in love with a boy who is far away from me.

As you know, I am in Australia ... and he lives in Scotland. We met on a dating website, became friends on Facebook, had long chats on Whatsapp. He proposed to me on Skype, and now we’ve had two months of a relationship through Viber.

My beloved and favorite Dad, I need your blessing, good wishes, and a really big wedding.

Lots of love and thanks
Your favorite daughter,
Lilly

THE RESPONSE

My Dear Lilly,

Like Wow! Really? Cool!

Whatever ... I suggest you two get married on Twitter, have fun on Tango, buy your kids on Amazon, and pay for it all through PayPal.

And when you get fed up with this new husband, sell him on eBay.

Love,
Your Dad

This one is compliments of Skyrat

So, the company Bob worked for got this tremendous insurance deal, no deductible, no copay, covers everything, but only if everybody, without exception, everybody, signs up.

Bob wasn’t so sure about this, and did not sign up. He was the only one.

So, his buddies on the shop floor talked to him, to no avail. “I’m not signing up for it, I don’t understand it,” he told them.

So, the foreman talked to him. Didn’t change a thing. “I’m not signing up for it, I don’t understand it,” he told him.

The union steward pulled him aside, and tried to make him see the advantages of the new insurance plan. Again, Bob was unmoved.

The plant manager called Bob into his office. He tried his hand, with graphs, and tables, and comparison charts. HR sent representatives and they tried to convince him to sign up. Again, Bob refused. “I’m not signing up for it, I don’t understand it,” he repeated.

Finally, the deadline loomed. If the company did not get the final signature, the opportunity would disappear. Bob was summoned to the fifteenth floor of the world headquarters of the company. He arrived to find the president of the corporation seated next the president of the international union. The attorney for the union sat beside the national union’s legal director. Flanking these, were four huge, knuckle dragging, sour looking, refrigerator sized men, scarred and bulging muscles.

The company president spoke. “Bob, I want you to be clear on this. I’ve spoken to your union, our legal staff, the union’s lawyers, and we all speak on this matter with one voice. If you do not sign these insurance papers right now, right here, these gentlemen have my full authority to throw you from this window behind me, 15 stories to your death.”

Bob stepped right up to the desk, picked up a pen, and signed, dated his signature, and stepped back.

The union president blinked several times. “Bob, why couldn’t you have signed this last week? Or the week before? Why now?”

Bob considered the question for a moment. “Well, honestly, nobody before had explained it to me the way he just did!”