Jokes and Giggles - Cover

Jokes and Giggles

Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt

Chapter 924

Lawrence, Kansas, December 12, 2008

A Kansas farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few occasions when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang.

The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile lady. He climbed the telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber’s house.

The phone didn’t ring right away, but after a moment the dog moaned and then the telephone began to ring.

Climbing down from the pole, the repairman found:

1. The dog was tied to the telephone system’s ground wire with a steel chain and collar.

2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.

3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current every time the number was called.

4. After a couple of jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate.

5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring.

Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing and moaning.

Thought you’d like to know.


This group is compliments of Fofo Xuxu

Church Ladies With Typewriters

They’re Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for the church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced at church services:


The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.


Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled Proceeds will be used to cripple children.


The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on the Water.’The sermon tonight:’Searching for Jesus.’


Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.


Don’t let worry kill you off - let the Church help.


Miss Charlene Mason sang ‘I will not pass this way again, ‘ giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

 
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