Chapter 923

This one is compliments of Unclepodger

Phil Mickelson

On a golf tour in Ireland, Phil Mickelson drives his Mercedes into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside.

The pump attendant, obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him in a typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is. “Top of the mornin’ to yer, sir” says the attendant.

Phil nods a quick “hello” and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground.

“What are those?”, asks the attendant.

“They’re called tees” replies Phil.

“Well, what on the god’s earth are dey for?” inquires the Irishman.

“They’re for resting my balls on when I’m driving”, says Phil.

“Jaysus”, says the Irishman, “Mercedes thinks of everything.”

This one is compliments of J & B

“Words” we used as kids!

For many of us, the terms and words or phrase’s listed below will ring a bell. Other’s of this modern age of verbal communication will have no clue.

Would you believe the email spell checker did not recognize the word, murgatroyd?

The other day a not so elderly lady said something to her son about driving a Jalopy and he looked at her quizzically and said,

“What the heck is a Jalopy?” He never heard of the word, ‘jalopy’!! She knew she was old but not that old.

Well, I hope you are Hunky Dory after you read this and chuckle.

These phrases included: Don’t touch that dial; Carbon copy; You sound like a broken record, and; Hung out to dry. They’re as close as two peas in a pod.

Back in the olden days we had a lot of moxie. We’d put on our best bib and tucker to straighten up and fly right. Heavens to Betsy! Gee whillikers! Jumping Jehoshaphat! Holy moley!

We were in like Flynn and living the life of Riley, and even a regular guy couldn’t accuse us of being a knucklehead, a nincompoop or a pill. Not for all the tea in China!

Back then, life used to be swell, but when’s the last time anything was swell? Swell has gone the way of beehives, pageboys and the D.A.; of spats, knickers, fedoras, poodle skirts, saddle shoes and pedal pushers. Oh, my aching back! Kilroy was here, but he isn’t anymore.

We wake up from what surely has been just a short nap, and before we can say, “Well, I’ll be a monkey’s uncle!” or, “This is a fine kettle of fish!” We discover that the words and expressions that we grew up with, the words that seemed omnipresent as oxygen, have vanished with scarcely a notice from our tongues and our pens and our keyboards.

Poof, go the words of our youth, the words we’ve left behind. Where have all those phrases gone? Long gone. The milkman did it. Hey! It’s your nickel. Don’t forget to pull the chain. Knee high to a grasshopper. Fiddlesticks! I’ ll see you in the funny papers. Don’t take any wooden nickels.

It turns out there are more of these lost words and expressions than Carter has liver pills. See you later alligator!