Chapter 922

Marital Misunderstanding How men and women record things in their diaries...

Wife’s Diary:

Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn’t flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn’t say much.

I asked him what was wrong; He said, ‘Nothing.’ I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn’t upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can’t explain his behavior. I don’t know why he didn’t say, ‘I love you, too.’

When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep; I cried. I don’t know what to do. I’m almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

Husband’s Diary:

A two-foot putt ... who misses a two-foot putt.

This one is compliments of dorsetmike

Fellow goes into a tattoo parlour, says “can you tattoo a salmon on my dick?” Tattoist says “sure - BUT- it’ll be expensive and it’ll hurt,” “OK understood” says the fellow, getting his dick out. After a considerble length of time and more than a few grunts of pain, all is done and the fellow pays up. The tattooist says “just as a matter of interest, why a salmon on your dick? Fellow says “well my girl’s a catholic and won’t eat meat on a Friday”