Jokes and Giggles
Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt
Chapter 919
These are compliments of Unclepodge
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS
Two 90-year old guys, Leo and Frank, had been friends all of their lives.
When it was clear that Leo was dying, Frank visited him every day. One day Frank said ‘Leo, we both loved playing baseball all our lives, and we played all through High School. Please do me one favor: when you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there’s baseball there.’
Leo looked up at Frank from his deathbed and said, ‘Frank you’ve been my best friend for many years. If it’s at all possible, I’ll do this favor for you.’
Shortly after that, Leo passed on.
A few nights later, Frank was awakened from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to him ‘Frank ... Frank.’ ‘Who is it?’ asked Frank sitting up suddenly. ‘Who is it?’
‘Leo-- it’s me, Leo’. ‘You’re not Leo, Leo just died.’ ‘I’m telling you, it’s me, Leo’ insisted the voice. ‘Leo! ... Where are you?’ ‘In Heaven, ‘ replied Leo. ‘I have some really good news and a little bad news.’ Tell me the good news first, ‘ said Frank.
‘The good news, ‘ Leo said, ‘is that there’s baseball in Heaven. Better yet all of our old buddies who died before us are here, too. Better than that, we’re all young again. Better still, it’s always springtime, and it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play baseball all we want, and we never get tired.’
‘That’s fantastic, ‘ said Frank ‘It’s beyond my wildest dreams! So what’s the bad news?’
‘You’re pitching Tuesday.’
One day a man decided to retire...
He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank.
He soon found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts.
After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore.
In disbelief, he asks, “Where did you come from? How did you get here?”
She replies, “I rowed over from the other side of the island where I landed when my cruise ship sank.”
“Amazing,” he notes. “You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with you.”
“Oh, this thing?” explains the woman. “ I made the boat out of some raw material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm tree branches, and the sides and stern came from an Eucalyptus tree.”
To read the complete story you need to be logged in:
Log In or
Register for a Free account
(Why register?)
* Allows you 3 stories to read in 24 hours.