Jokes and Giggles
Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt
Chapter 897
These are compliments of Allan B
A man buys a cemetery plot for his mother-in-law for her birthday. The following year, he didn’t buy her anything. When she complained to him about that he asked her, “What’s the problem? You didn’t use what I got you last year...”
What is the term for two 25 lb. cats fighting? Sumeow wrestling.
A drunk was at a cocktail party, goes up to the hostess and slurs “Do lemons have feathers?” She asks, “I beg your pardon.” He repeats, “Do lemons have feathers?” She replies, “No, I don’t think so.” He says, “Well in that case, I’ve just squeezed your canary into my drink.”
I danced like no one was watching. But someone was watching, thought I was having a seizure and called an ambulance.
Enjoying music is like eating candy: The first thing you do is throw away the rapper...
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
Tina and Diane were discussing their summer vacation plans. “My Freddie said that he’d pay for a boobjob as a present.” gushed Tina. “That’s great”, offered Diane. “I was thinking of having my asshole bleached.” Perplexed, Tina remarked, “I just can’t picture your husband as a blond.”
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