Jokes and Giggles
Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt
Chapter 895
This is compliments of Jan T.
The difference between marketing and sales:
Marketing knows more and more about less and less till it knows everything about nothing at all.
Sales knows less and less about more and more until it knows nothing about everything.
This is compliments of J & B
Just a few random thoughts.
These are on chalkboards in Johannesburg South Africa
Stop trying to make everybody happy – you’re not tequila.
Don’t do something permanently stupid because you’re temporally upset.
It’s better to walk alone rather than with a crowd going in the wrong direction.
Be what you needed when you were younger.
If you had to choose between drinking wine every day or being skinny is it red or white?
When you’re forgiven you heal. When you let go you grow.
If you have a gun you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank you can rob everyone.
Forgiveness does not change the past but it does enlarge the future.
In a world where you can be anything, be kind.
When you make a commitment you build hope. When You keep it you build trust.
I am a woman what’s your superpower?
May your choices reflect what your hopes are, not your fears.
The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.
Why do we only rest in peace? Why don’t we live in peace too?
This one is compliments of Pepere
A 6 year old and a 4 year old are raking the yard.
The 6 year old asks, “You know what? I think it’s about time we started learning to cuss.”
The 4 year old nods his head in approval.
The 6 year old continues, “When we go in for breakfast, I’m gonna say something with hell and you say something with ass.”
The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.
When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, “Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I’ll have some Cheerios.”
WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step.
His mom locks him in his room and shouts, “You can stay there until I let you out!”
She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice, “And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?”
“I don’t know,” he blubbers, “but you can bet your fat ass it won’t be Cheerios!”
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