Chapter 886

A GREAT HUNT

Shot my first turkey yesterday! Scared the shit outta everyone in the frozen food section. It was awesome! Getting’ old is so much fun...

Remember:

Don’t make old people mad!

We don’t like being old in the first place, so it doesn’t take much to piss us off.

CAUTION: The following are not ‘Politically Correct’ Compliments of A. von W

Female Jokes First Woman: “This is very embarrassing, but every time I sneeze, I have an orgasm.” Second Woman: “You poor dear! Are you taking anything for that?” First Woman: “Snuff.”

What’s the definition of the perfect woman?

1) She’s three feet tall, has a round hole for a mouth and her head is flat so you can put cocktails on it.
2) The sports model has pull-back ears and her teeth fold in.
3) The economy model - she fucks all night and at midnight

she turns into a roast beef sandwich and a six pack.

Three old ladies were sitting on a park bench when a flasher walked up to them and displayed his endowments. The first old lady had a stroke, the second old lady had a stroke, but the third old lady’s arms were too short to reach.

This guy walks into a bar, walks up to the bartender and says, “I’d like a scotch and soda and I’d like to buy that douche bag at the end of the bar a drink.” The bartender says, “Hey, she’s a regular and you can’t be talking about her that way.” The guy says, “Okay, I’d like to buy that nice, young lady at the end of the bar a drink.” The bartender says, “That’s more like it,” and he walks up to the girl and asks her what she wants to drink. She says, “Vinegar and water.”