Chapter 881

Research shows that there are 7 kinds of sex.

The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex.
This kind of sex happens when You first meet someone, and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.

The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex.
This is when you have been With your partner for a short time, and you are so needy you will have sex Anywhere, even in the kitchen.

The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex.
This is when you have been with Your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine, and you usually have Sex only in your bedroom.

The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex
This I s when you have been with Your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say ‘Fuck you.’

The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex.
Which means you get Nun in The morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night. (Very Popular)

The 6th kind is called Courtroom Sex.
This is when you cannot stand your Wife any more. She takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone.

And; Last, but not least, The 7th kind of sex is called: Social Security Sex.
You get a little each month. But not enough to enjoy yourself.

PLEASE DO NOT REPLY TO TELL ME WHAT STAGE YOU ARE IN. I have enough problems Of my own!!

Give up smoking, drinking, and sex

God visited a woman and told her she must give up smoking, drinking, and sex if she wants to get into heaven.

The woman said she would try her best.

God visited the woman a week later to see how she was getting on.

“Not bad” said the woman, “I’ve given up smoking and drinking, but when I bent over to get some stuff out of the freezer and my boyfriend caught sight of my long slender legs, he pulled up my skirt, pulled my panties to one side and made love to me right then and there.”

“They don’t like that in heaven,” said God.

The woman replied: “They’re not too happy about it in Costco either!”

This one is compliments of J & B

Some True-isms to ponder.

Don’t die a Virgin ... Seriously, there are terrorists waiting for you up there.

If you don’t swear while driving that means you’re not paying attention to go at all.

If at first you don’t succeed, try doing it the way your wife told you.

You’re never childless when you have a husband.

If there is a bar where everybody knows your name, you’re probably an alcoholic.

Sometimes I drink a glass of water, Just to surprise my liver.

Why does toilet paper need a commercial? Who is not buying this?

I am not the type of person you should put on a speaker phone.

Common sense is a flower that doesn’t grow in everyone’s garden.

Ever look back and think of some of the people you dated or wanted to date in high school ... and see them on Facebook and think, “whewI dodge a bullet on that one!”