Chapter 880

These are compliments of Mario...

When a man is near the end of his life, he rests a lot, becomes very lethargic and loses all interest in sexual activity. This is the same with a woman except the changes take place earlier, usually just after the honeymoon

I saw a sign today that read: Tiredness kills, take a break. So I pulled over and went to sleep. When I woke up I felt great and was ready to drive again. I was 5 hours late for work though.

MEDICAL WARNING... ! Beware, never take any Viagra at the same time as you are taking a course of Iron Supplement Tablets. I did it once and it’s really weird. Whichever way you turn, your Dick will always point to Magnetic North.

I pulled up at the Traffic Lights next to a lovely young Blonde girl, I smiled and lowers my Window. She smiled back and lowers her Window. So I leaned across and says, “Have you just Farted as well”... ???

I realised my parents favoured my twin brother over me when they asked me to blow up balloons for his surprise birthday party.

This is compliments of J & B, yes it is aged but you will smile.

Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end.

He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.

Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna’s heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, ‘Edna, I have good news And bad news. The good news is you’re being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love ... I have concluded that your act displays that you have a sound mind.

The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he’s dead.’

Edna replied, ‘He didn’t hang himself, I put him there to dry ... How soon can I go home?’