Chapter 879

These are compliments of J & B:

The Final Exam - Gotta admire this teacher!!!

There were four seniors taking Microbiology and all of them had an ‘A’ so far. These four friends were so confident that the weekend before finals, they decided to visit some friends in Butte and have a big party. They had a great time but, after all the hearty partying, they slept all day Sunday and didn’t make it back to Montana State University in Bozeman until early Monday morning.

Rather than taking the final then, they decided that after the final they would explain to their professor why they missed it. They said that they visited friends but on the way back they had a flat tire. As a result, they missed the final.

Professor Olesnicki agreed they could make up the final the next day. The guys were excited and relieved. They studied that night for the exam.

The next day Professor Olesnicki placed them in separate rooms and gave them a test booklet. They quickly answered the first problem worth 5 points. Cool, they thought! Each one, in a separate room, thought this was going to be easy ... then they turned the page...

On the second page was written...

For 95 points:

Which Tire? _________

Lovemaking Tips For Seniors And you too Jim!!!!!

1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.

2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.

3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)

4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.

5. Write partner’s name on your hand in case you can’t remember...

6. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act...

7. Make all the noise you want ... the neighbors are deaf, too.

8. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news!!
9. Don’t even think about trying it twice...
‘OLD’ IS WHEN...
Your sweetie says, ‘Let’s go upstairs and make love, ‘ and you answer, ‘Pick one; I can’t do both!’

‘OLD’ IS WHEN...
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you’re barefoot.

‘OLD’ IS WHEN...
Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

‘OLD’ IS WHEN...
You don’t care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don’t have to go along.

‘OLD’ IS WHEN...
You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.

‘OLD’ IS WHEN...
‘Getting a little action’ means you don’t need to take a laxative today.

‘OLD’ IS WHEN...
‘Getting lucky’ means you find your car in the parking lot...

‘OLD’ IS WHEN...
An ‘all nighter’ means not getting up to use the bathroom.

‘OLD’ IS WHEN...
You’re not sure if these are facts or jokes.

Here is a thought from Gary:

What’s the last thing that goes through a bug’s mind when it hits your windshield? Its asshole!