Chapter 874

A minister was seated on a plane bound from Hong Kong to the US with a stopover in Honolulu...

After the stopover a crusty old Marine boarded and as fate would have it he was seated next to the minister.

After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken.

The flight attendant asked the Marine if he wanted a drink.

The Marine asked for Rum & Coke, which was prepared and placed before him.

The flight attendant then asked the minister if he would like a drink

He replied in disgust... “I’d rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips.”

The old Marine then handed his drink back to the attendant and said,

“Me too, I didn’t know we had a choice.”

You may not agree ... but

The descriptions are called Deginitions

CIGARETTE:
A pinch of tobacco
Rolled in paper
With fire at one end
And a fool at the other.

MARRIAGE:
It’s an agreement
Wherein
A man loses his bachelor’s degree
And a woman gains her masters.

CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man
Multiplied by the
Number present.

COMPROMISE:
The art of dividing
A cake in such a way that
Everybody believes
He got the biggest piece.

TEARS:
The hydraulic force by which
Masculine will-power is
Defeated by feminine water-power.

CLASSIC:
A book
Which people praise,
But never read.

SMILE:
A curve
That can set
A lot of things straight.

OFFICE:
A place
Where you can relax
After your strenuous
Home life.

YAWN:
The only time
When some married men
Ever get to open
Their mouths.

EXPERIENCE:
The name
Men give
To their
Mistakes.

DIPLOMAT:
A person
Who tells you
To go to hell
In such a way
That you actually look forward
To the trip.

OPTIMIST:
A person
Who while falling
From the EIFFEL TOWER
Says midway
“SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!”

MISER:
A person
Who lives poor
So that
He can die RICH.

FATHER:
A banker
Provided by
Nature.

BOSS:
Someone
Who is early
When you are late
And late
When you are early.

POLITICIAN:
One who
Shakes your hand
Before elections
And your Confidence
Later.

DOCTOR:
A person
Who kills
Your ills
With pills,
And then kills you
By his bills.