Chapter 871

Compliments of Aussie John

Q: What does a lawyer have in common with Sperm?

A: Both have a one-in-a-billion chance of being human.

A young boy walks into a brothel dragging a dead frog.

He asks the man at the front desk if he can have a woman and the man says “No, son. You have to be 18.”

The boy hands the man a one hundred dollar bill and the man tells him to go upstairs to Room 7. Then the boy asks the man if he can have a girl with active herpes. The man says “No, I’m sorry, but all of our girls are clear.”

The boy hands him another one hundred dollar bill and the man tells him to go upstairs to Room 4. About twenty minutes later, the boy comes back and the man at the front desk asks the boy why he is dragging a dead frog and why he wanted a girl with herpes.

“Well, tonight when the babysitter comes over, I’ll have sex with her and give her herpes. Then, when my dad takes her home, she will give it to him. Then, when my parents have sex tonight, my mum will get it too. Then tomorrow morning when my dad goes to work my mum will give herpes to the postman, and he’s the bastard that ran over my frog!”

After his exam the doctor asked the elderly man: “You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns you would like to ask me about?”

“In fact, I do,” said the old man. “After I have sex with my wife, I am usually cold and chilly, and then, after I have sex with her the second time, I am usually hot and sweaty.”

Later, after examining the man’s elderly wife, the doctor said: “Everything appears to be fine. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?” She replied that she had no questions or concerns.

The doctor then said to her: “Your husband had an unusual concern. He claims that he is usually cold and chilly after having sex with you the first time, and then hot and sweaty after the second time. Do you know why?”

“Oh that crazy old fart,” she replied. “That’s because the first time is usually in July and the second time is in January.”