Jokes and Giggles
Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt
Chapter 870
This group is compliments of J & B
Thoughts for the day
Never hold your farts in. They travel up your spine, into your brain, and that’s where shifty ideas come from!!
Nurse to patient. I am sorry, Mr. Jones, but your HMO does not pay for enemas. I’m going to have to slap the shit out of you.
One old lady to another: I went to my HMO Dr. today.
Other lady:
I think our doctor is an HMO, but Frank thinks he’s straight.
The seven dwarves of menopause: bitchy, itchy, sweaty, sleepy, bloated, forgetful and psycho.
Why we love children!!
A kindergarten told his teacher he’d found a cat, but it was dead.
“How do you know that the cat was dead?” she asked.
Because I just pissed in its ear and it didn’t move, answered the child innocently.
“You did what?” the teacher exclaimed in surprise. “ you know,” explained the boy “I leaned over and went pssst into its ear and it didn’t move.”
An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, how do you expect to get into heaven? He thought it over and said “well I will run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door, until St. Peter says, come in or stay out!
It was that time during the Sunday morning service, for the children’s sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress, and as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said “that is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter dress?” The little girl replied, directly into the pastor’s clip on microphone “yes and my mom says it’s a bitch to iron.”
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