Jokes and Giggles
Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt
Chapter 853
These are compliments of Allan B.
In wine there is wisdom.
In beer there is freedom.
In water there are bacteria.
It’s your call...
There are 10 types of people in the world.
Those who understand binary, and those who don’t.
A neutron walks into a bar and asks, “How much for a beer?”
The bartender says, “For you, no charge.”
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a quarter of a beer. The fourth orders an eighth of a beer, and so on. By the time the seventh one orders, the barkeep pours two glasses of beer and says, “You guys ought to know your limits”.
Today I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a wall. As he turned and sneered at me, I thought “That’s a little condescending”.
I don’t like making plans for the day, because then, the word ‘premeditated’ gets thrown around the courtroom...
I’ve got to stop saying, “How stupid can you be?”
Too many people are taking it as a challenge.
The Baron of Strathtyne had a prize peacock which was coveted by the Earl of Rutland. Unfortunately the peacock was infested with intestinal worms. After consulting his vet, the baron went to a pharmacy to get some anthelmintics (anti-worm drugs). The earl took the opportunity to try to steal the peacock. The peacock wasn’t having any of that, and after tripping the earl, pecked him half to death. When the baron returned, he saw what happened, tied up the earl (after moving the peacock away) and had him arrested.
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