Chapter 852

HEART WARMING LAWYER STORY

One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.

He asked one man, “Why are you eating grass?”

“We don’t have any money for food,” the poor man replied. “We have to eat grass.”

“Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I’ll feed you,” the lawyer said.

“But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there eating grass under that tree.”

“Bring them along,” the lawyer replied.

Turning to the second poor man he stated, “You may come with us, also.”

The other man, in a pitiful voice, then said, “But sir, I also have a wife and six children with me!”

“Bring them all as well,” the lawyer answered.

They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine.

Once under way, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, “Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you.”

The lawyer replied, “Glad to do it. You’ll really love my place.

The grass is almost a foot high.”

Come on ... did you really think there was such a thing as a heart-warming lawyer story? Look at Congress -- over 300 Lawyers!!!

This one is compliments of Gary H.

OLD AGE...

This is what all of you 70+ years old, and yet-to-be senior citizens, have to look forward to!! This is something that happened at an assisted living center. The people who lived there have small apartments, but they all eat at a central cafeteria. One morning one of the residents didn’t show up for breakfast so my wife went upstairs and knocked on his door to see if everything was OK. She could hear him through the door, and he said that he was running late and would be down shortly so she went back to the dining area.

An hour later he still hadn’t arrived, so she went back up towards his room and she found him on the stairs. He was coming down the stairs but was having a hell of time. He had a death grip on the hand rail and seemed to have trouble getting his legs to work right. She told him she was going to call an ambulance, but he told her no, he wasn’t in any pain and just wanted to have his breakfast. So she helped him the rest of the way down the stairs and he had his breakfast.

When he tried to return to his room he was completely unable to get up even the first step, so they called an ambulance for him. A couple hours later she called the hospital to see how he was doing. The receptionist there said he was fine; he just had both of his legs in one leg of his boxer shorts.

I am sending this to my children so that they don’t sell the house before they know the facts.

Some random Thoughts from J & B

The fact that there’s a highway to hell and only a stairway to heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers.

So when is this “old enough to know better” supposed to kick in? I am running out of time.

Have you ever listened to someone for a while and wondered “who ties your shoelaces for you”.

Be careful when you follow the masses ... sometimes the M is silent!

I am not lazy I just really enjoy doing nothing. Work fascinates me; I could sit and watch it for hours.

When you’re dead, you don’t know you’re dead, it’s only difficult for others. It’s the same way when you are stupid.

Calm down, take a deep breath and hold it for about 20 minutes.

I speak my mind, because it hurts like hell to bite my tongue all the time.

Don’t confuse my personality with my attitude ... my personality is “WHO I am.” my attitude depends on “who you are!”

Sometimes I sit and wonder why I’m not in a mental asylum ... then I take a look around and realize maybe I already am.

Remember to set your scale back 10 pounds this week.

I am not saying you’re stupid, I’m just saying you have bad luck when it comes time to think.

I am one step away from being rich; all I need now is money.

Some people should use a glue stick instead of Chapstick