Chapter 849

Black Bra (as told by a woman)

I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends. One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been married for 20+ years. We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes.

Here’s how it all went...

My engaged friend: The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, ‘You are the woman of my dreams ... I love you.’ Then we made passionate love all night long. The mistress: Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing a raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and mask over my eyes. When I opened the raincoat he didn’t say a word, but he started to tremble and we had wild sex all night. Then I had to share my story: When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. When he came in the door and saw me he said,...

(you are going to love this... )

“What’s for dinner, Zorro?”

Eight Words with two Meanings

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n. Female ... Any part under a car’s hood. Male ... The strap fastener on a woman’s bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. Female ... Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another. Male ... Playing football without a cup.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n. Female ... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner. Male ... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko- mit-ment) n. Female ... A desire to get married and raise a family. Male ... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n. Female ... A good movie, concert, play or book. Male ... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n. Female ... An embarrassing by-product of indigestion. Male ... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.

7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n. Female ... The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve. Male ... Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n. Female ... A device for changing from one TV channel to another. Male ... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

He said ... Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said ... That’s a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!

He said ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you? She said ... Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

He said ... Why are married women heavier than single women? She said ... Single women come home, see what’s in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what’s in bed and go to the fridge.