Chapter 842

These are compliments of Al B.

When the store manager returned from lunch, he noticed his clerk’s hand was bandaged, but before he could ask about the bandage, the clerk had some very good news for him.

“Guess what, sir?” the clerk said. “I finally sold that terrible, ugly suit we’ve had so long!”

“Do you mean that repulsive pink-and-blue double-breasted thing?!” the manager asked.

“That’s the one!”

“That’s great!” the manager cried, “I thought we’d never get rid of that monstrosity! That had to be the ugliest suit we’ve ever had! But tell me, why is your hand bandaged?”

“Oh,” the clerk replied, “after I sold the guy that suit, his seeing-eye dog bit me.”

My daughter wanted a Cinderella-themed birthday party. So I invited her friends over and made them clean my house.

This one is compliments of J & B.

This morning on the Interstate, I looked over to my left and there was a Woman In a brand new Cadillac Doing 65 mph with her Face up next to her Rear-view mirror putting on her eyeliner.

I looked away for a couple seconds ... To continue shaving; and when I looked back, she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that makeup.

As a man, I don’t scare easily. But she scared me so much; I had to put on my seat belt And I dropped My electric shaver, Which knocked The donut Out of my other hand.

In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees against the steering wheel, it knocked my Cell Phone Away from my ear Which fell into my coffee which was between my legs, splashed, And burned Big Jim and the Twins. Ruined the damn phone, soaked my trousers, and disconnected an important call.

Damn women drivers!