Chapter 841

This one is compliments of Charm B

I swear this one is true.

There was a discussion at a military officers training college in the 1970s on the topic “The Irish Question” and the subtext read “How do we stop the fighting between the Catholic Irish Republicans and the Protestant Ulster Unionists?” One essay submitted read “Get the UN to put in a peace-keeping force of either the French Foreign Legion or the Canadian Royal 22nd (the Van Doos). The natives will gang up on them to protect their womenfolk.”

This one is compliments of Reltney M

Feeling philosophical today, so I thought I’d share a gem from undergrad school:

Sartre Theorized, “To do is to be” Camus countered, “To be is to do” Sinatra synthesized the differing viewpoints: “Do be do be do!”

These are compliments of Smokeyjoe from the land down under!

What do toys and boobs have in common? A: They were both originally made for kids, but dad ends up playing with them!

Q: What kind of bees produce milk?

A: Boobies!

Q: What do you call a woman who adds a third boob?

A: A chestnut.

Q: What did the bra say to the hat?

A: You go on a head while I give these two a lift!

Q: Why did God give women breasts?

A: So men would take to them!

Q: What do you call the space in between Pamela Anderson’s breasts?

A: Silicon Valley.

Q: What do you call a nanny with a breast implants?

A: A Faux pair.

Q: What do you call identical boobs?

A: Identitties.

Q: How are a blonde’s breasts and a pad alike?

A: Neither are recommended for the beach and both come in different absorbency levels.

Q: What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts that a 25 year old doesn’t?

A: Her navel.

Q: What did one boob say to the other boob?

A: You’re my breast friend.

Q: Why was the mermaid wearing sea shells?

A: Her boobs were too big for B shells.

Q: Why did God give women boobs and nipples?

A: To make suckers out of men!

Q: What do call the moisture on Dolly Parton’s chest?

A: Mountain DEW

Q: What do you call that patch of hair between an old ladys tits?

A: Her snatch.

Q: What does Kentucky Fried Chicken and a woman have in common?

A: If you take away the legs and the breast you’re left with a smelly greasy box?

Q: Why did the Blonde have square boobs?

A: She forgot to take the tissues out of the box.

Q: When does a waitress wear a bikini?

A: In a breasteraunt.

Q: What do you call a white girl without boobs?

A: Justin Bieber

Q: Why was two piece swimsuit invented?

A: To separate the hairy from the dairy.

Q: What is America’s favorite pastime?

A: Tits, Clits and Base Hits.

Q: Why don’t nuns wear bras?

A: God supports everything.

Q: Why is a push up bra like a bag of chips?

A: You open it and its half empty

Q: When is the last time most overweight men have touched a breast?

A: In a KFC bucket

A young man goes into a chemist shop and asks the sales assistant for a box of condoms.

“Yes sir, do you know we have them in all sorts of colours?”

“Hmm!” he ponders, “just give me a packet of each colour.”

Some months later he’s back in the shop, the sales assistant asks what he wants.

“I want to buy a Maternity Dress.”

“O.K. sir, what bust.”

“The blue one.”

Another young man wanted to buy some condoms and asks the very attractive assistant for 100 condoms.

“Fuck me,” said the astonished assistant.

“Oh! well, make it 110 then.”