Chapter 832

There was a small church in Texas that had a very big-busted organist. Her breasts were so huge that they inadvertently bounced and jiggled the entire time she played the organ. Unfortunately, she distracted most of the congregation considerably, both male and female.

The very proper church ladies were appalled. They said something had to be done about this or they would have to get another organist.

So, one of the ladies approached her, very discreetly, and told her to mash up some green persimmons and rub them on the nipples of her breasts and maybe they would shrink in size. She warned her to not eat any of the green persimmons, ‘because they are so sour they will make your mouth pucker up and you won’t be able to talk properly for a week!’

The perky organist agreed to try rubbing the persimmons on her nipples.

The following Sunday morning the minister got up in the pulpit and said...

“Dew to thircumsthanthis bewond my contwol, we will not haff a thermon tewday.”

A beautiful young girl is about to undergo a minor operation. She’s laid on a gurney by a lady in a white dress and brought to the corridor. Before they enter the room she leaves her by the elevator door to go and check to see if they are ready for surgery.

A young man wearing a white coat approaches, takes the sheet away and starts examining her naked body. He walks away and talks to another man in a white coat. The second man comes over and does the same examinations.

When the third man starts examining her body ever so closely, she grows impatient and says:

“All these examinations are fine and appreciated, but when are you going to start the operation?”

The man in the white coat shrugged his shoulders: “I have no idea. We’re just painting the corridor.”

A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K

After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her. He looked at her for a while, then said, “You’re an alphabet wife ... A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K.”

She asks... “What the hell does that mean?” He said, “Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Fabulous, Gorgeous, and Hot”.

She smiled happily and said... “Oh, that’s so lovely, but what about I, J, K?” He said, “I’m Just Kidding!”

The swelling in his eye is going down and the doctor is fairly optimistic about saving his testicles

A cowboy, who just moved to Wyoming from Texas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud. He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, “You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time.”

The cowboy replies, “Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Arizona, the other is in Colorado. When we all left our home in Texas, we promised that we’d drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I’m drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself.” The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.

The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.

One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, “I don’t want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss.”

The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs.

“Oh, no, everybody’s just fine,” he explains. “It’s just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking.”

“Hasn’t affected my brothers, though.”