Jokes and Giggles
Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt
Chapter 829
These are compliments of Smoky Joe
Family Problem???
Two men, one Australian and an Irish were sitting in a bar drinking shot after shot.
The Irish man said to the Australian, ‘You know, my parents are forcing me to get married to this so called homely girl from a village whom I haven’t even met once.’ We call this arranged marriage. I don’t want to marry a woman whom I don’t love ... I told them that openly and now have a hell lot of family problems.’
The Australian said, talking about love marriages ... I’ll tell you my story.
I married a widow whom I deeply loved and dated for 3 years. ‘After a couple of years, my father fell in love with my step-daughter and married her, so my father became my son-in-law and I became my father’s father-in-law.
Legally now my daughter is my mother and my wife my grandmother.
More problems occurred when I had a son. My son is my father’s brother and so he is my uncle.
Situations turned worse when my father had a son.
Now my father’s son, my brother is my grandson. Ultimately, I have become my own grandfather and I am my own grandson ... And you say you have family problems...
The Irishman fainted...
What’s the definition of a Elephant?
A Mouse built to Government Specifications.
There was this Indian chief who was straining to blow a fart but it wouldn’t come out.
So he sent his little messenger boy to the doctor and he says, “Big chief, no fart.”
The doctor gives him a can of beans and tells him to come back tomorrow to tell him what happened.
The messenger boy comes back the next day and says, “Big chief, no fart.”
The doctor gives him 10 cans of beans this time.
The messenger boy comes back the next day and says, “Big chief, no fart.” The doctor gives him 100 cans of beans.
The messenger boy comes back the next day and says, “Big chief, no fart.”
The doctor gives him 100 cans of beans and says, “If this doesn’t work then nothing will.”
The messenger boy comes back the next day and looks at the doctor.
The doctor anxiously asked, “Well, did it work?”
The messenger boy says, “Big fart, no chief!”
How To Get Hired At Walmart
A manager at Wal-Mart had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.
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