Chapter 82

The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday in Minneapolis of a yeast infection and traumatic complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs.

Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.

The gravesite was piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded.

Born and bread in Minnesota, Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not regarded as a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was a crusty old man and served as a positive roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, three children:John

Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven.

He is also survived by his elderly father, PopTart.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 min.

If you smiled while reading this, please rise to the occasion and pass it on to someone having a crumby day and kneading a lift.

'this one compliments of dennis'

A Tennessee Mountain woman went to the doctor and was told to go home and come back in a couple of days with a specimen. When she gets home she asked her husband, "What is a specimen?"

He replied "I'll be danged if I know, why don't you go next door and ask Edith, she is a danged nurse after all".

The woman went next door and came back in about twenty minutes with her clothes all torn and with multiple cuts and bruises on her face and body

"What in tarnation happened?" asked her husband.

Still obviously mad she said "I asked Edith polite like what a specimen was and she told me to go piss in a bottle so I told her to go fart in a jug and that's when all hell broke loose."