Chapter 819

Thank Smokey Joe for these...

Confucius Say:A Penis is the only thing that a woman hopes she will find hard to handle.
Confucius Say:A relationship is the opportunity to do something you hate with someone you love.
Confucius Say:The inventor of shag carpet made a big pile.
Confucius Say:Some Sex Is Good ... More Is Better ... Too Much Is Just About Right
Confucius Say:A Tattoo is permanent proof of temporary insanity.
Confucius Say:The Opera is the only place where a guy gets stabbed and instead of bleeding, he sings.
Confucius Say:A Magazine is a bunch of printed pages that tell you what’s coming in the next issue.
Confucius Say:A Cannibal is person who likes to see other people stewed.
Confucius Say:An Optimist is a girl who regards a bulge as a curve.
Confucius Say:A Shotgun wedding is a case of wife or death.
Confucius Say:A penis has a hole in the end so men can be open minded.
Confucius Say:Watch a woman eat an ice cream cone and you’ll have a pretty good idea how she’ll be in bed.
Confucius Say:Man with five dicks will have pants that fit like a glove.
Confucius Say:It’s ok to let a fool kiss you, but don’t let a kiss fool you.
Confucius Say:To reuse a condom, turn it inside out and shake the f*ck out of it
Confucius Say:Men screw with dicks; women screw with minds.
Confucius Say:Masturbation is a solo played on a private organ.
Confucius Say:Mother’s Day comes nine months after father’s day.
Confucius Say:A kiss is just shopping upstairs for downstairs merchandise.
Confucius Say:It’s all right to sit on your pity pot every now and again. Just be sure to flush when you’re done.
Confucius Say:Killing two birds with one stone often ends with hate mail from the humane society.
Confucius Say:The best way to save face, is to keep the lower part of it shut.
Confucius Say:To make a long story short, don’t tell it.
Confucius Say:Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.
Confucius Say:A giraffe’s family reunion is called “necks of kin.”
Confucius Say:A man is only as faithful as his options.
Confucius Say:A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two-tired.
Confucius Say:Never argue with a fool ... he may be doing the same thing.
Confucius Say:The best way to keep your word is not to give it.
Confucius Say:A man’s last will and testament is a dead give-away.
Confucius Say:When you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.
Confucius Say:Bad singers break into song because they can’t find the key.
Confucius Say: The wise speak when they have something to say, the fools speak when they have to say something.
Confucius Say:If you worry about yesterday’s failures, todays successes will be few.
Confucius Say:A Rubix cube is like a penis. The longer you play with it, the harder it gets.
Confucius Say:The greatest fault is to be conscious of none.
Confucius Say:He who thinks by the inch and talks by the yard deserves to be kicked by the foot.
Confucius Say:A woman can humiliate any man by simply saying “Hold my purse.”
Confucius Say:: An Egotist a person more interested in himself than in me.
Confucius Say:: Man who crap on weighbridge relieve himself of weighty problem.