Jokes and Giggles
Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt
Chapter 809
This one is compliments of John C.
Lawrence Austin [Doctor of Biological Science, RMIT] was call as an expert witness in a case by the Victorian Environmental Trust Committee against a large manufacturing firm that had been a little lax in their waste disposal practices.
Lawyer: “Doctor Austin, could you please tell the court what your investigations have uncovered...”
Dr Austin: “Certainly, I discovered the effluent from the aforementioned industrial site contained 50,000 organisms per litre of discharge, when the World Health Organisation rates the maximum safe level (for natural disposal) is two hundred and fifty organisms per litre.”
Judge: “Excuse me, Dr. Austin, but what would I have if I got 50,000 orgasms?”
Dr Austin: “Wobbly knees, your Honour!”
After order was restored to the court:
Judge: “I think I’m going to have to hold you in contempt, Dr Austin!”
This one is compliments of Carl M.
The first man was an Engineer, the second man was an Accountant, the third man was a Chemist, and the fourth man was a Civil Servant.
To show off, the Engineer called his cat.
“T-square, do your stuff,” he said
T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart. But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said “Spreadsheet, do your stuff.”
Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of three. Everyone agreed that was good.
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