Chapter 800

Young people have theirs, NOW, we “Seniors” have our own texting codes:

* ATD - At the Doctor’s
* BFF - Best Friends Funeral
* BTW - Bring the Wheelchair
* BYOT - Bring Your Own Teeth
* CBM - Covered by Medicare
* CUATSC - See You at the Senior Center
* DWI - Driving While Incontinent
* FWIW - Forgot Where I Was
* GGPBL - Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low
* GHA - Got Heartburn Again
* HGBM - Had Good Bowel Movement
* LMDO - Laughing My Dentures Out
* LOL - Living on Lipitor
* OMSG - Oh My! Sorry, Gas
* TOT - Texting on Toilet
* WAITT - Who Am I Talking To?
Hope these help...

And the best one is:

GGLKI (Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking in!)

This is compliments of rhinebeck

Sven and the Russian wrestler.

Before the final match, the Norwegian wrestling coach came to Sven and said. “Now, don’t forget all the research we’ve done on this Russian. He’s never lost a match because of this “pretzel” hold he has. Whatever you do, do not let him get you in that hold. If he does, you’re finished.” Sven nodded in acknowledgement.

As the match started, Sven and the Russian circled each other several times, looking for an opening. All of a sudden, the Russian lunged forward, grabbing Sven and wrapping him up in the dreaded pretzel hold.

A sigh of disappointment arose from the crowd and the coach buried his face in his hands for he knew all was lost. He couldn’t watch the inevitable happen.

Suddenly, there was a scream, then a cheer from the crowd and the coach raised his eyes just in time to watch the Russian go flying up in the air ... His back hit the mat with a thud and Sven collapsed on top of him making the pin and winning the match.

The crowd went crazy!! The coach was astounded.

When he finally got his wrestler alone he asked, “How did you ever get out of that hold? No one has ever done it before?”

Sven answered, “Vell, I vas ready to give up ven he got me in dat hold, but at da last moment I opened my eyes and saw dis pair of testicles right in front of my face-- I had nuttin to lose so wid my last ounce of strength I stretched out my neck and bit dose babies just as hard as I could.”

So the trainer exclaimed, “ That’s what finished him off?”

“Vel not really. You’d be amazed how strong you get ven you bite your own balls!!”