Chapter 80: Happy Easter

A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road. He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car. The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out seeing what has become of the rabbit.

Much to his dismay, the rabbit is the Easter Bunny, and he is DEAD.

The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry. A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway sees a man crying on the side of the road and pulls over. She steps out of the car and asks the man what's wrong.

"I feel terrible!" He explains, "I accidentally hit the Easter Bunny with my car and KILLED HIM."

The blonde says, "Don't worry."

She runs to her car and pulls out a spray can. She walks over to the limp, dead Easter Bunny, bends down, and sprays the contents onto him.

The Easter Bunny jumps up, waves its paw at the two of them and hops off down the road. Ten feet away he stops, turns around and waves again, he hops down the road another 10 feet, turns and waves, hops another ten feet, turns and waves, and repeats this again and again and again and again, until he hops out of sight.

The man is astonished.

He runs over to the woman and demands, "What is in that can? What did you spray on the Easter Bunny?"

The woman turns the can around so that the man can read the label.

It says.

(Are you ready for this?)

(You know you're going to be sorry)

(Last chance)

(OK, here it is)

It says,

"Hair Spray Restores life to dead hair, and adds permanent wave."

Ha p p y E a s t e r!!!

I can see you smiling!

Explaining Easter

Three blondes died and found themselves standing before St. Peter. He told them that before they could enter the Kingdom, they had to tell him what Easter represented.

The first blonde, an American, said "Easter is a holiday where they have a big feast and we give thanks and eat turkey."

St. Peter said, "Noooooo." and wouldn't let her in.

The second blonde, a Brit, said "Easter is when we celebrate Jesus's birth And exchange gifts."

St. Peter said, "Noooooo," and he wouldn't let her in either.

The third blonde, a Canadian, said she knew what Easter was, and St.Peter said, "So, tell me."

She said, "Easter is a Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish festival of Passover. Jesus was having Passover feast with his disciples when he was betrayed by Judas, and the Romans arrested him. The Romans hung him on the cross and eventually he died. Then they buried him in a tomb behind a very large boulder..."

St. Peter said, "Verrrrrry good."

Then the blonde continued, "Now, every year the Jews roll away the boulder and Jesus comes out. If he sees his shadow, we have six more weeks of hockey."

St. Peter fainted.