Chapter 798

It’s just dawned on me...

My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day.

He has his food prepared for him. He can eat whenever he wants.

His meals are provided at no cost to him.

He visits the Dr. once a year for his checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise.

For this he pays nothing and nothing is required of him.

He lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than he needs and he is not required to do any upkeep...

If he makes a mess, someone else cleans it up.

He has his choice of luxurious places to sleep.

He receives these accommodations absolutely free.

He is living like a King, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever...

All of his costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.

I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick...

OMG! I think my dog is a member of Parliament/ House of Representatives!

This one is compliments of J & B

Newfoundlanders Fire Insurance

A man and his wife moved back home to Newfoundland, from Vancouver.

The wife had a wooden leg and to insure it in B.C. was $2000.00 a year!

When they arrived in Newfoundland, they went to an Insurance agency to see how much it would cost to insure the wooden leg.

The agent looked it up on the computer and said to the couple, ‘$39.00.’

The husband was shocked and asked why it was so cheap here in Newfoundland to insure, because it cost him $2000.00 in BC!

The agent turned his computer screen to the couple and said, ‘Well, here it is on the screen, it says:

Any wooden structure, with a sprinkler system over it, is $39.00.

I always did find the Newfoundland Logic far superior to most others.

Compliments of Carl M.

The AMA [American Medical Association] has weighed in on Trump’s health care package:

The Allergists were in favor of scratching it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.

The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.

Meanwhile, Obstetricians felt certain everyone was laboring under a misconception, while the Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted.

Pathologists yelled, “Over my dead body!” while the Pediatricians said, “Oh, grow up!”

The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness,

While the Radiologists could see right through it.

Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing and the Internists claimed it would indeed be a bitter pill to swallow.

The Plastic Surgeons opined that this proposal would “put a whole new face on the matter.”

The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward.

But the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea.

Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas,

And those lofty Cardiologists didn’t have the heart to say no.

In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the assholes in Washington.

Do you know what the penalty is for bigamy in California?

Two Mothers-in-law.