Chapter 797

Put a smile on your face.,,,

Farmer Jack once lived on a quiet rural highway but as time went by, the traffic slowly built up and got so heavy and so fast that his free range chickens were being run over, at a rate of three to six a week. So Farmer Jack called the local police station to complain, “You’ve got to do something about all these people driving so fast and killing all my chickens,” he said to the local police officer.

“What do you want me to do?” asked the policeman.

“I don’t care, just do something about those crazy drivers!”

So the next day the policeman had the Council erect a sign that said: SCHOOL CROSSING

Three days later Farmer Jack called the policeman and said, “You’ve still got to do something about these drivers. The ‘school crossing’ sign seems to make them go even faster!”

So again, they put up a new sign: SLOW: CHILDREN AT PLAY.

That really sped them up. So Farmer Jack called and said, “Your signs are no good. Can I put up my own sign?”

In order to get Farmer Jack off his back said “Sure. Put up your own sign.

The phone calls to the Police Station stopped, but curiosity got the better of the Officer, so he called Farmer John, “How’s the problem with the speeding drivers ... did you put up your sign?”

“Oh, I sure did and not one chicken has been killed.

The policeman was really curious and thought he’d better go out and take a look at the sign. He also thought the sign might be something the Police could use elsewhere, to slow drivers down ... So he drove out to Farmer Jack’s house. His jaw dropped the moment he saw the sign.

‘NUDIST COLONY’ - ‘Slow down and watch for chicks!

Going to Church in Chicago

When I heard Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson were going to be guest preachers at a nearby church, I decided to go and check them out in person. As soon as I sat down, Reverend Sharpton came over to me. I don’t know why? He laid his hands on my hand and said: “By the will of Jesus the Lord Almighty, and the will of God, you will walk today.” I told him I was not paralyzed. Then Jesse Jackson came by and said: “By the Grace of God, and his Son Jesus, the Lord Almighty, you will walk today.” Again I said that there is nothing wrong with me. After the sermon I stepped outside and lo and behold -- My Car Was Gone! Amen