Chapter 792

A poem to which we can relate

I remember the corned beef of my Childhood,
And the bread that we cut with a knife,
When the Children helped with the housework,
And the men went to work, not the wife.

The cheese never needed a fridge,
And the bread was so crusty and hot,
The Children were seldom unhappy,
And the Wife was content with her lot.

I remember the milk from the bottle,
With the yummy cream on the top,
Our dinner came hot from the oven,
And not from a freezer; or shop.

The kids were a lot more contented,
They didn’t need money for kicks,
Just a game with their friends in the road,
And sometimes the Saturday flicks.

I remember the shop on the corner,
Where biscuits for pennies were sold
Do you think I’m a bit too nostalgic?
Or is it ... I’m just getting Old?

Bathing was done in a wash tub,
With plenty of rich foamy suds
But the ironing seemed never ending
As Mum pressed everyone’s ‘duds’.

I remember the slap on my backside,
And the taste of soap if I swore
Anorexia and diets weren’t heard of
And we hadn’t much choice what we wore.

Do you think that bruised our ego?
Or our initiative was destroyed?
We ate what was put on the table
And I think life was better enjoyed.

Author, Unknown...

If you can remember those days...
Continue to enjoy your Retirement.

This one is compliments of Carl M

A woman went to her doctor for advice. She told him that her husband had developed a penchant for anal sex, and she was not sure that it was such a good idea... ‘Do you enjoy it?’ The doctor asked. ‘Actually, yes, I do.’ ‘Does it hurt you?’ he asked. ‘No. I rather like it.’ ‘Well, then, ‘ the doctor continued, ‘there’s no reason that you shouldn’t practice anal sex, if that’s what you like, so long as you take care not to get pregnant.’ The woman was mystified. ‘What? You can get pregnant from anal sex?’ ‘Of course, ‘ the doctor replied. ‘WHERE DO YOU THINK POLITICIANS COME FROM?”

This one is compliments of J & B

An Irish painter by the name of Murphy, while not a brilliant scholar, was a gifted portrait artist.

Over a short number of years, his fame grew and soon people from all over Ireland were coming to the town of Miltown Malbay, in County Clare, to get him to paint their likenesses.

One day, a beautiful young English woman arrived at his house in a stretch limo and asked if he would paint her in the nude. This being the first time anyone had made such a request, he was a bit uncomfortable, particularly when the woman told him that money was no object; in fact, and she was willing to pay up to 10,000 pounds.

Not wanting to get into any marital strife, he asked her to wait while he went into the house to confer with Mary, his wife. They talked much about the Rightness and Wrongness of it. It was hard to make the decision but finally his wife agreed, on one condition. In a few minutes he returned.

“T’would be me pleasure to paint yer portrait, missus,” he said “The wife says it’s okay. “I’ll paint you in the nude all right; but I have to at least leave me socks on, so I have a place to wipe me brushes.”

This one is compliments of Earl J

Today marks 6 weeks without any sugar.

Running 5kms each day before breakfast. I’ve stopped eating meat, dairy, flour too. No caffeine. The change in my body has already been fantastic! I feel great! Zero alcohol! Eating a healthy diet that is completely vegan, gluten-free, caffeine-free and sugar-free. And working out for 2 hours every day!