Chapter 787

Compliments of Carl M

Patient walks into the Doctor’s office. He say’s “Doc, you gotta help me, I have 5 penises.”

The Doctor replies in astonishment “How do your pants fit?”

Patient replies “Like a glove.”

0ld

Compliments of J & B

A fleeing Taliban terrorist, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the mirage, only to find a very frail little old Jewish man standing at a small makeshift display rack - selling ties.

The Taliban terrorist asked, “Do you have water?

The Jewish man replied, “I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie? They are only $5.”

The Taliban shouted hysterically, “Idiot Infidel! I do not need such an over-priced western adornment - I spit on your ties. I need water!

“Sorry, I have none - just ties - pure silk - and only $5.”

“Pahh! A curse on your ties, I should wrap one around your scrawny little neck and choke the life out of you, but I must conserve my energy and find water!”

“Okay,” said the little old Jewish man, it does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie from me or that you hate me, threaten my life and call me infidel. I will show you that I am bigger than any of that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a restaurant. It has the finest food and all the ice-cold water you need ... Go In Peace!

Cursing him again, the desperate Taliban staggered away over the hill.

Several hours later, he crawled back, almost dead and gasped, “They won’t let me in without a tie!

You must admit ... you never saw that coming!

The Repercussions of a Power. Outage...

We had a power cut at our house this morning and my PC, laptop, TV, DVD, iPad & my new surround sound music system were all shut down.

Then I discovered that my mobile phone battery was dead and to top it off it was raining outside, so I couldn’t play golf.

I went into the kitchen to make coffee and then I remembered that this also needs power, so I sat and talked with my wife for a couple of hours.

She seems like a nice person.

This one is compliments of GoGeo

From the time of your birth till you started dating, your parents made all your decisions for you,
When you started dating, both your parents and girlfriend shared your decision making.
When you married, your wife then made all your decisions.
Have you got it yet? Have you? Have you?
Even if you out live your wife you will eventually need a caretaker whose gender will be???