Chapter 786

This little ditty is compliments of G.

What is the difference between erotic and kinky? With erotic you use a feather; with kinky you use the whole damn chicken!

This compliments of Tucson:

Three doctors are discussing the shape of the head of male penis. The doctor from John Hopkins says it is to enhance the male’s pleasure. The doctor from Yale thinks it is for the pleasure of the woman. The doctor from Texas A&M thinks is to prevent your hand from slipping off the end.

This one is compliments of mike

Two friars are having trouble paying off repairs to the belfry, so they open a florist shop.

Everyone wants to buy flowers from the men of God so business is quickly b(l)ooming.

The florist across town sees a huge drop in sales and asks the two friars to close their shop, but they refuse.

A month later the florist begs the friars to close because he’s having trouble feeding his family.

Again, they refuse, so the florist hires Hugh McTaggert.

Hugh is the roughest, toughest thug in town and is hired to ‘persuade’ the friars to close.

Hugh asks the friars to close their florist shop.

When they refuse, he threatens to beat them up and wreck their shop every day they remain open, so they close.

This proves once again that Hugh and only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

This one is compliments of Gary

Nostalgia (Are We Old?) I came across this phrase in a book yesterday “FENDER SKIRTS”. A term I haven’t heard in a long time and thinking about “fender skirts” started me thinking about other words that quietly disappear from our language with hardly a notice.

Like “curb feelers” and “steering knobs.” Since I’d been thinking of cars, my mind naturally went that direction first. Any kids will probably have to find some elderly person over 50 to explain some of these terms to you.

Remember “Continental kits?” They were rear bumper extenders and spare tire covers that were supposed to make any car as cool as a Lincoln Continental.

When did we quit calling them “emergency brakes?” At some point “parking brake” became the proper term. But I miss the hint of drama that went with “emergency brake.”

I’m sad, too, that almost all the old folks are gone who would call the accelerator the “foot feed.”

Did you ever wait at the street for your daddy to come home, so you could ride the “running board” up to the house?

Here’s a phrase I heard all the time in my youth but never anymore - “store-bought.” Of course, just about everything is store-bought these days. But once it was bragging material to have a store-bought dress or a store-bought bag of candy.

“Coast to coast” is a phrase that once held all sorts of excitement and now means almost nothing. Now we take the term “world wide” for granted. This floors me.

On a smaller scale, “wall-to-wall” was once a magical term in our homes. In the ‘50s, everyone covered his or her hardwood floors with, wow, wall-to-wall carpeting! Today, everyone replaces their wall-to-wall carpeting with hardwood floors. Go figure.