Jokes and Giggles
Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt
Chapter 785
A Wee Scottish Joke
An Arab Sheik was admitted to Hospital for heart surgery, but prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to have some of his blood type stored in case the need arose.
As the gentleman had an extremely rare type of blood that couldn’t be found locally, the call went out around the world. Finally, a Scotsman was located who had the same rare blood type. After some coaxing, the Scot donated his blood for the Arab.
After the surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman a new BMW, a diamond necklace for his wife, and $100,000 US dollars in appreciation for the blood donation.
A few months later, the Arab had to undergo a corrective surgery procedure. Once again, his doctor telephoned the Scotsman who this time was more than happy to donate his blood.
After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman a thank-you card and a box of Quality Street chocolates. The Scotsman was shocked that the Arab did not reciprocate his kind gesture as he had anticipated.
He then phoned the Arab and asked him: “I thought you would be more generous than that -last time you sent me a BMW, diamonds and money, but this time you only sent me a lousy thank-you card and a crappy box of chocolates?”
To this the Arab replied: “Aye laddie, but I now have Scottish blood in me veins”.
This one is compliments of Brad
Some people are so fucking thick!!! Just at the Exxon station and two police officers are sat staring at a woman who was pumping petrol and smoking at the same time. Like really, wtf! I’m thinking they are gonna nick her in a minute!! Fucking idiot and the cops are just sat there. I go into the shop and just as I was about to leave, I hear someone screaming “look outside” the woman’s arm was on fire!!! She was running around like a nutter waving her arm around and just going nuts.
Everyone runs out. One cop is trying to pat her out and the other one sprayed her with an extinguisher. Then proceed to nick her!!! Handcuffs the lot! I couldn’t help myself and asked them why they were jailing her after just burning her arm!! wasn’t catching her arm on fire punishment enough? I swear to god the cop looked me dead in the eye and said,
“For waving a Firearm”.
These are compliments of Gary H.
THE HOTEL BILL
Next time you think your hotel bill is too high you might want to consider this...
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