Chapter 782

This one is compliments of Jay

The Hunter

One day, while a hunter was sitting too close to a river, his rifle fell into the river and disappeared right before his eyes. When he cried out, suddenly an angel appeared and asked, “My dear child, why are you crying?” The hunter replied that his rifle had fallen into the water and that he needed it to help supply food and necessities for his family.

The angel dipped his hand into the water and pulled up a $17,000 Linux-powered .300 Winchester Magnum with a 22-inch barrel.

“Is this your rifle?” the angel asked.

“No,” the hunter reluctantly replied.

The angel again dipped into the river. This time he held out a highly engraved Winchester 1886 in .50-110 Winchester.

“Is this your rifle?”

Again, the hunter shook his head and reluctantly replied, “No.”

The angel reached down again and came up with a beat-up, no-thrills Savage Axis.

“Is this your rifle?” the angel asked.

“Yes,” the hunter replied softly and rather ashamedly. The angel was pleased with the man’s honesty and ended up giving him all three rifles to keep, and the hunter went home happy.

A week later, the hunter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, showing her where the miracle occurred, when his wife fell into the river and disappeared under the water. When he cried out for help, the angel again appeared and asked him, “What is wrong?”

“Oh kind angel, my wife has fallen into the river!”

The angel went down into the water and, to the hunter’s amazement, came up with Marilyn Monroe.

“Is this your wife?” the angel asked.

“Yes!” cried the hunter.

The angel was furious. “You lied! That is an untruth!”

“Oh, forgive me,” the hunter pleaded, “it is only a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said ‘no’ to Marilyn Monroe then you would have gone back into the river and come up with another gorgeous beauty. Then if I said ‘no’ to her, you would have gone back in and come up with my wife. Had I then said ‘yes, ‘ you would have given me all three. Please, I beg of you, I’m not in the best of health, nor the richest man, and would not be able to take care of all three women; so, that’s why I said ‘yes’ to Marilyn Monroe.”

And so the angel let him keep her.

The moral of this story: Whenever a man lies, it’s for a good and honorable reason; and, in the end, in the best interest of everyone involved.

Pepere

A mother was walking down the hall when she heard a humming sound coming from her daughter’s bedroom. When she opened the door she found her daughter naked on the bed with a vibrator. What are you doing?” she exclaimed. The daughter replied, “I’m 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I’ll ever get to a husband.” Later that week the father was in the kitchen and heard a humming sound coming from the basement. When he went downstairs, he found his daughter naked on the sofa with her vibrator. “What are you doing?” he exclaimed. The daughter replied, “I’m 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I’ll ever get to a husband.” A couple of days later the mother heard the humming sound again, this time in the living room. In there, she found her husband watching the Super Bowl on television with the vibrator buzzing away beside him. “What are you doing?” she exclaimed. He replied...”Watching the game with my son-in-law.”