Jokes and Giggles
Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt
Chapter 777
Medical misunderstandings
1. A man comes into the ER and yells... ‘
My wife’s going to have her baby in the cab.’
I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady’s dress and began to take off her underwear.
Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs -- and I was in the wrong one.
Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Francisco
2. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient’s anterior chest wall...
‘Big breaths, ‘ ... I instructed.
‘Yes, they used to be, ‘ ... Replied the patient.
Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA
3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct.
Not more than five minutes later, I heard her
Reporting to the rest of the family that he had
Died of a ‘massive internal fart.’
Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg
4. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, ‘How long have you been bedridden?’
After a look of complete confusion she answered...
‘ Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive.’
Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis, OR
5. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB.
I was quite embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams ... To cover my embarrassment
I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.
The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing
And further embarrassing me.
I looked up from my work and sheepishly said...
‘ I’m sorry. Was I tickling you?’
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