Chapter 776

These group is compliments of the Web magician

Some of the artists of the 60’s are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate the baby boomers.

They include:

1. Herman’s Hermits ... Mrs. Brown You’ve Got a Lovely Walker.
2. The Bee Gees ... How Can You Mend a Broken Hip?
3. Bobby Darin ... Splish splash, I Was Havin’ a flash.
4. Ringo Starr ... l Get By With a Little Help From Depends.
5. Roberta Flack ... The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face.
6. Johnny Nash ... I Can’t See Clearly Now.
7. Paul Simon ... Fifty Ways To Lose Your Liver.
8. The Commodores ... Once. Twice. Three Times to the Bathroom.
9. Marvin Gaye ... I heard it Through the Grape Nuts.
l0. Procol Harem ... A Whiter shade of Hair.
11. Leo Sayer ... You Make Me Feel Like Napping.
12. The Temptations ... Papa’s Got a Kidney Stone.
13. Abba ... Denture Queen.
14. Tony Orlando ... Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling if You Hear Me Fall.
15. Helen Reddy ... I Am Woman. Hear Me Snore.
16. Willie Nelson ... On the Commode Again.
17. Leslie Gore ... lt’s My Procedure and I’ll Cry if I Want To.

Why we need hyphens:

Because working twenty four-hour shifts is not the same as working twenty-four hour shifts or working twenty-four-hour shifts.

1 Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!
2 Never stand between a dog and the fire hydrant.
3 The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.
4 If you live in a school, then you’re probably a fish.
5 Newspaper Ad: FREE PUPPIES: Half cocker spaniel, half what dug under the fence.
6 I wonder how police on bicycles arrest people? “Alright, get in the basket” probably doesn’t work.
7 Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read. Groucho Marx
8 Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.
9 If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential that word would be “meetings.”
10 If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.

Love this Doctor!

Q: Doctor, I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it ... Don’t waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.