Chapter 775

A few Comments from Pepere

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan

What is a Yankee? The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover? The position of the dirt bag.

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? Doughnuts

Why is air a lot like sex? Because it’s no big deal unless you’re not getting any.

What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever.

What do attorneys use for birth control? Their personalities.

What’s the difference between a girlfriend and wife? 10 years and 45 lbs

What’s the difference between a boyfriend and husband? 45 minutes

Why do men want to marry virgins? They can’t stand criticism.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends.

What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you

Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

What’s the difference between a porcupine and BMW? A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? “Are you sure it’s mine?”

Why do drivers’ education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays? Because the Sex Ed class uses it on Tuesday and Thursday.

Where does an Irish family go on vacation? A different bar.

Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a blonde baby? They named him “Sum Ting Wong”

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? A speech impediment

What’s the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo? A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... “a recipe”.

How do you get a sweet 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell BINGO!

This is compliments of Mario M

Do Not Attempt drinking anything hot while enjoying this!!!!

After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly Rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this VEET as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly successful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits. Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus’s birthday as a bit of a treat. I ordered it well in advance and working in the North Sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...

Oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was. I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn’t have have long to wait. At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head. Religion hadn’t featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the destruction of the meat and two veg.