Chapter 771

BEER BY SEVEN YEAR OLDS

A handful of 7 year old children in Australia were asked what they thought of beer. There were some interesting responses, but the last one is especially touching.

‘I think beer must be good. My dad says the more beer he drinks the prettier my mum gets.’ --Tim, 7 years old

‘Beer makes my dad sleepy and we get to watch what we want on television when he is asleep, so beer is nice.’ --Melanie, 7 years old

‘My Mum and Dad both like beer. My Mum gets funny when she drinks it and takes her top off at parties, but Dad doesn’t think this is very funny.’ --Grady, 7 years old

‘‘My Mum and Dad talk funny when they drink beer and the more they drink the more they give kisses to each other, which is a good thing.’ --Toby, 7 years old

‘My Dad gets funny on beer. He is funny. He also wets his pants sometimes, so he shouldn’t have too much. --Sarah, 7 years old

‘My Dad loves beer. The more he drinks, the better he dances. One time he danced right into the pool.’ --Lily, 7 years old

‘I don’t like beer very much. Every time Dad drinks it, he burns the sausages on the barbecue and they taste disgusting.’ --Ethan, 7 years old

‘I give Dad’s beer to the dog and he goes to sleep.’ --Shirley, 7 years old

AND THE BEST RESPONSE

‘My Mum drinks beer and she says silly things and picks on my father. Whenever she drinks beer she yells at Dad and tells him to go bury his bone down the street again, but that doesn’t make any sense.’ --Jack, 7 years

An old hillbilly farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morningtil night she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out ploughing with his old mule. He tried to plough a lot. One day, when he was out ploughing, his wife brought him lunch in the field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch. Immediately, his wife began nagging him again. Complain, nag, complain, nag - it just went on and on. All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet, caught her smack in the back of the head. Killed her dead on the spot. At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd. When a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement. This was so consistent, the minister decided to ask the old farmer about it. So after the funeral, the minister spoke to the old farmer, and asked him why he nodded his head and agreed with the women, but always shook his head and disagreed with all the men. The old farmer said, ‘Well, the women would come up and say something about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so I’d nod my head in agreement.’ ‘And what about the men?’ the minister asked. ‘They wanted to know if the mule was for sale.’