Jokes and Giggles
Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt
Chapter 770
This one is compliments of Carl
THE LIZARD...
A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when a lizard walks past.
The lizard looks up and says to the monkey “Hey! what are you doing?”
The monkey says “Smoking a joint, come up and join me, my cold-blooded friend.”
So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have another joint.
After a while the lizard says his mouth is ‘dry’, and that he’s going to get a drink from the river. At the riverbank, the lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls in.
A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the stoned lizard, helping him to the side. He then asks the lizard, “What’s the matter with you?!”
The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting in the tree, smoking a joint with his new monkey friend. He then explained how his mouth got dry, and that he was so wasted that, when he went to get a drink from the river, he fell in!
The inquisitive crocodile says he has to check this out. He walks into the jungle and finds the tree where the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint.
He looks up and says “Hey, MONKEY!”
The Monkey looks down and says “FUUUUUCK, DUDE ... how much water did you drink?”
This one is compliments fo s800482
Three pals go bear hunting. On arrival at the cabin it is discovered that Jack forgot his rifle.
The other two guys give him a rasher of shit and ask how he figured to get his bear. Jack embarrassed for his error said he had a system and for them not to worry. Jack grabs the TP roll and heads out to do his business.
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