Jokes and Giggles - Cover

Jokes and Giggles

Copyright© 2015 by Jack Spratt

Chapter 767

THE PHONE CALL
Rrriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg,

‘Hello?’
‘Hi honey.
This is Daddy.
Is Mommy near the phone?’

‘No, Daddy.
She’s upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.’
After a brief pause,
Daddy says,
‘But honey, you haven’t got an Uncle Paul.’
‘Oh yes I do, and he’s upstairs in the room with Mommy,
right now... ‘

Brief Pause.
‘Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do.
Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs
And knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy
That Daddy’s car just pulled into the driveway.’

‘Okay, Daddy, Just a minute.’
A few minutes later
The little girl comes back to the phone.
‘I did it, Daddy.’
‘And what happened, honey?’

‘Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed
with no clothes on and ran around screaming.
Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser
And now she isn’t moving at all!’
‘Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?’
‘He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too...
He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window
And into the swimming pool.
But I guess he didn’t know that you took out the water
Last week to clean it.
He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he’s dead.’

Long Pause
Longer Pause
Even Longer Pause
Then Daddy says,

‘Swimming pool?...

Is this 486-5731?’

No, I think you have the wrong number...


This one is compliments of Gary

Claim of title

Only in Louisiana. You gotta love this lawyer - it’s too good not to share! Everyone who has ever bought a house will enjoy this.

A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client. He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803, which took the Lawyer three months to track down.

After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply:

“Upon review of your letter adjoining your client’s loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title. While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented the application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the proposed collateral property back to 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin.”

 
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